Friday, January 16, 2009

Cavalcade of Coronation Rumors

In an era when so many individuals like to "cry wolf",
sifting through the quagmire of rumors can be a daunting task.
The amount of rumors circulating with the impending coronation of Grand High Sheikh-elect Barack Hussein Obama has reached unprecedented levels.

The rumors range from the plausible to the totally insane.

Just to keep everyone abreast of what's out there, here is a list of the most prevalent rumors:

1. Mumbai-type attack by gunmen on the inauguration crowd.
This would be of course a martyrdom operation conducted by an Islamic sleeper cell.
The chance of this style of attack is rated extremely low,
with the thousands of extra police, military troops and law enforcement agents,
including plain clothes officers roaming the crowds.

2. Mumbai-type attack on the train that is supposedly carrying the Grand High Sheikh-elect to Washington from Philadelphia on Saturday.
This is considered disinformation by the Secret Service,
to entice any wannabe Jihadists into making a move on a easy target that's a decoy.

3. Sniper attack at the inauguration ceremony.
Countersnipers will be deployed around the whole inauguration area.
Any individual who undertakes a sniper mission must assume that this will be a martyrdom operation.

4. Nuclear or "dirty bomb" attack, this is the most rampant of rumors.
With the array of Washington's 5,265 surveillance cameras and the Department of Homeland Security's domestic nuclear detection office in full swing.
A pre-positioned device is unlikely.
Air patrols will be on the lookout for planes attempting to penetrate the no-fly zone for an aerial delivery.

5. One of the most plausible and easier to implement attacks that we've heard of,
would be a Qasaam (homemade rocket) attack with a biological payload.
The Grand High Sheikh-elect's aides were weighing the decision to cancel the fireworks on the evening of his coronation on this rumor.
While a fireworks show would have disguised a Qassam attack perfectly,
the rockets could still be launched from a range of 5-6 miles away from easily set-up and discarded launchers at any time during the coronation.

As one Islamic forum member says, "This is the Americans flu season. By the time they realize that anthrax is the cause of their unexplained illnesses and fatalities,
many of the people exposed will be as good as dead

Depending on the validity of these wishful wannabe jihadists,
we've heard rumors of both anthrax or small pox.

From the totally asinine pile we were sent this rumor of a nuclear "false-flag" attack on an Israeli Beach for the inauguration.
One hell of a way to get a tan we guess.

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